Thievery
by VoodooQueen
Summary: Short one shots based off my two 'Thief' stories. Just misc. plot bunnies that attacked me while I was writing and didn't really fit in with the plot of either story. Rating may change.
1. Jealousy

**Author's Note: Hiya! I'm sorry I haven't been around much. I know I have tons of stuff that needs updating. Unfortunately, the little illness I've had has morphed into something that required me to actually get up off the couch and take a trip to the emergency room the other day. Needless to say, I can't pull my concentration together enough to crank out anything new. I did manage to dig around on my hard drive and find a few tantalizing bits that rabid plot bunnies dropped on my doorstep while I was working on my "Thief" stories. They really don't have anything to do with the plot of either one, but I couldn't resist writing them down. I figured I'd post them up to amuse you guys until I got over this hump. I hope you enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I've never claimed to own Transformers. If I ever become so lucky, you people will be the first to know.**

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**Jealousy**

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Ironhide had been against the idea from the beginning. He would never admit it but he had actually felt a bit hurt and rejected by her request at first. Revecca, however, had given him 'the look' that never failed to get him to give in. She had looked up at him with her wide, bright green eyes and her bottom lip stuck out in that cute little pout...How could he say no? His resolve broken, he had eventually relented and agreed to allow her to go shopping for a new car.

He couldn't for the life of him understand why she should even need her own transportation. She had him, didn't she? He would have gladly driven her anywhere she wanted to go in a heartbeat if for no other reason than to spend time with her. Hell, when it came right down to it the woman did, afterall, reside in an installation full of mech's willing to take her wherever she needed to go whenever she needed to go. Transportation shouldn't have been an issue for her at all.

He had to admit, though, Revecca had made a good argument. When the responsibilities he held as a member of the Autobots came into play, she had stated matter-of-factly, he wasn't always able to drop what he was doing to take her somewhere. Nor did she expect him to. She also didn't feel right about hassling the others to stop what they were doing to give her a lift. Having her own mode of transportation would give her a bit of the freedom she needed to do what she had to do without disrupting the daily activities of others.

As he had watched her leave to go car shopping, he had felt a pang of jealousy deep in his spark. He actually found himself hoping Rev would come home behind the wheel of some old, used clunker, possibly a big, ugly station wagon or maybe even a dinged up minivan. That, he figured, he would be able to reasonably deal with for the most part.

Yeah, right. Like that would ever happen. He knew Revecca better than that. It should have came as no surprise to him when she came home driving a brand new, shiny, white Audi TT Coupe. His jaws had nearly come unhinged as the woman had hopped out of the car, giving it an affectionate pat on the hood, and practically skipping over to where he stood.

The green-eyed monster within 'Hide reared its ugly head almost immediately. He looked at the flashy, new intruder with barely concealed loathing. "What the frag is that thing?"

Rev had looked over at the car and beamed brightly. "It's kinda sexy, huh? I couldn't resist. I've got some money saved up so I thought what the hell. Its not like I'm spending it on anything else..."

"Sexy?" Ironhide's CPU nearly fritzed. He looked down upon the woman in disbelief. He gestured toward the car. "Please don't tell me ya find that _thing_ attractive."

"I think it's cute." Revecca looked up at the mech. "You don't like it?"

Not wanting to admit his true feelings, Ironhide decided to try another approach. "It's too small. It has absolutely no cargo space…" He looked down upon the female. "It's completely impractical."

Revecca tilted her head back to look up at him with a wide grin plastered across her face. "It isn't supposed to be practical, Ironhide. It's supposed to be fun."

"Fun?" Ironhide shook his head. "It isn't safe. It would never survive a serious accident." The mech crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. "I don't want you driving it."

"Safe?" Rev looked at the mech. "I'll have you know that this car scored five stars out of a possible five in front side impact crash tests."

Ironhide grumbled. "I still don't like it."

A slow grin worked its way across her features. "Aww...don't tell me... You're not _jealous_ are you, 'Hide? I mean, it's just a car..."

"Jealous?" Ironhide snorted as he glared coldly down upon the coupe. "Why would I be jealous?"

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Oh, but he was jealous. Very much so. He had ground his dental plating together in resentment of the small vehicle on the occasions he had watched her bathe and wax it. The sight of her gently buffing the pristine, white paint to a glossy shine made his coolant boil. Everytime he saw Rev fawning over it he prayed a meteor would fall from the sky and smash it into a twisted pile of smoldering metal. How he hated that car. He hated it with a passion.

It seemed everytime he stepped foot outside it was there, sitting smugly and silently taunting him. _'Hello, 'Hide'_, it seemed to be saying, _'Been anywhere with your femme lately? OH! That's right. You haven't…because she's with ME. Ha ha ha!! Maybe if you were more sleek and aerodynamic she'd want to spend as much time with you as she does me…' _

It took a considerable amount of restraint for him to resist stomping the tiny car into the ground.

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Much to his irritation, Revecca had found it hillarious when he confided in her that he believed the car was mocking him. Ironhide huffed. "I'm tellin' ya, Rev, that car is no good."

"Oh my god, Ironhide. You can't be serious." Revecca laughed until tears came to her eyes. She collapsed on the berth next to his head, clutching her sides as peels of laughter wracked her body. "I can't believe it. You are really jealous of a damn car."

Ironhide narrowed his optics. "Am not."

"Oh, you so totally are." She crawled across the berth toward him, rocking back to sit on her heels and putting on her most serious face. "Look, I'm supposed to go shopping with Maggie later." She reached out to softly stroke the part of his face she could reach." If it'll make you feel any better, I'll cancel my plans with her and you and me can go somewhere and hang out. Just the two of us. What do you say?"

Ironhide perked up a bit at the thought of spending some much desired time alone with the woman, then he frowned. "I can't. Prowl has me on monitor duty tonight." He reached down to brush a finger along her side. "Tomorrow?"

Revecca sucked her teeth and made a disappointed face. "Aww, I can't go tomorrow."

Ironhide's shoulders slumped. "Why not?"

Revecca's mouth twitched as she struggled to hold in more laughter. "I have a date with the Audi."

Ironhide snatched his finger away from the woman and stood up. He put his hands on his hips and glared down at Rev who was once again laughing hysterically. "I'm so glad ya think this is amusin'." The mech turned to stomp out of the room.

"Ironhide! Come back!" Revecca was still laughing so hard she could barely breathe. "C'mon! I was only kidding! It was a joke!"

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There was only so much that even the most patient and understanding of mechs could take. Needless to say, Ironhide was neither. He had taken all he could take from the arrogant, little sportscar.

"Don't think I don't know what you're tryin' to do. I'm on to you." Ironhide stood with his optics narrowed and his cannons humming as he looked down upon his nemesis one bright and early Saturday morning. "I'm tellin' ya right now, you pile of scrap, she's mine. You're not gonna get her that easy."

Silence was Ironhide's only reply as the small, sleek coupe continued to sit innocently in the place it had been parked without a care in the world. The mech circled the vehicle, his fingers flexing. He snorted as he came to stand in front of the hood. "I don't understand what she saw in ya in the first place, but I'll tell ya one thing...This place ain't big enough for the both of us."

Glancing around to make sure no one would see him, Ironhide advanced toward the inanimate machine. A smirk pulled at his mouth. "One of us has ta go...and it ain't gonna be me."

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Revecca jingled her keys as she made her way out of the building. She had been giving it some thought and decided that, for the sake of everyone's sanity, she would trade in the Audi for something a little less threatening to Ironhide's mech-hood. As much fun as she had been having teasing the poor guy for the passed couple weeks, she could tell it was really starting to get to him. She loved Ironhide and hated to seem him upset, even if it was funny as hell.

Stepping outside into the bright sunshine, Rev was greeted instantly with the sight of unimmaginable carnage. Her mouth dropped open in shock. Sitting in the spot where a shiny, new car had once been was a large crater, the ground around which was scorched and charred. In the dead center of was a twisted, smoking heap of what had presumably once been a vehicle. It was only made recognizable by the four distinctive interlocking circles on what had once upon a time been the grill. The poor thing had never stood a chance.

Clenching her fists, Rev turned away from the scene. There could only be one explaination for what had happened. She stalked back toward the base. "IRONHIDE!!"

The End

**Just a short little something. If you liked it let me know. I have a few more I can post up if you want to read them. I know Ironhide prides himself on being all mechly and bad ass, but I can totally see him feeling threatened by some flashy, little sports car. Especially if perceives himself to be in competition with it for the attention of the lady in his life. Till we meet again... **

**Her Royal Voodooness**


	2. Overheard

Author's Note: Hi guys

**Author's Note: Hi guys. Can you tell I'm bored to tears? I'm sick of being sick!! I have nothing better to do than lie in bed and fiddle around on my laptop…UGH!! **

**Anywho…This is just another little tidbit that I came up with while working on my 'Thief' story. Sometimes when I'm writing I'll have an idea pop into my head and I just have to write it down. I figured I would go ahead and clean it up and post it too. Hope you like.**

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!! Can't you get that through your thick skull??**

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**Overheard**

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"Bee?" Sam looked up at his guardian who was sprawled out beside him on the rec room floor in front of the gigantic television screen. They had stumbled across a trashy cable talk show as they were channel surfing and it had immediately drawn them in with its lurid subject matter.

The topic of said show happened to be odd couples and their less than conventional bedroom habits. As the show progressed into stranger and stranger sexual territory, Sam's hormonal teenage mind couldn't help but conjure up images of the oddest couple he had ever had the pleasure of knowing: Ironhide and Revecca.

Bee, optics still glued to the screen as one couple described their fetish for saran wrap and glow sticks, answered his charge. "Yeah, Sam?"

"Umm..." Sam wiggled a bit uncomfortably, unsure if he should even bring it up. "Have you ever wondered about...umm...you know...what _they_ do together?"

Bee managed to tear his optics away from the television as another man began to speak quite candidly about all the different uses he and his girlfriend had found for pipe cleaners and Vaseline. "Who, Sam?"

Sam rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Uh, y'know...'Hide and Rev..."

Bee blinked his optics. "I'm assuming you are referring to the physical aspect of their relationship?"

"Uh," Sam shifted to a sitting position, a bit ashamed that he had even brought it up. "Y-yeah…"

"Hmm…" Bee stretched out onto his back and laced his hands together behind his head as he contemplated the question. "I've never really thought about it. It really isn't any of my business. Intimacy is a very important part of any relationship. I'm assuming they've worked something out. They seem very pleased with each other. If you're curious about the actual act, I could ask Ironhide…"

"WHAT?!" Sam's eyes grew to the size of saucers. He suddenly had visions of a very irate, cannon wielding Autobot confronting him, demanding to know why he was so concerned with what he was doing with _his_ femme. "NO! D-don't ask Ironhide. I-I really don't need to know. I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even brought it up."

"Are you sure?" Bee sat up and looked down at his human. "I don't mind…"

Sam's eyeballs looked like they were about to pop out of his head. "NO! I'm sure. I-I don't care to know...Really. Don't ask Ironhide…Please…"

Bee shrugged and turned back to the television. "Very well, Samuel. I offered."

Sam settled back down on the floor with relief. The two lay side by side on the carpet and watched the rest of the show in silence. As the credits began to roll, Sam stood and stretched.

The teen shifted on his feet in discomfort. "Bee, I'm going to run to the bathroom. I drank way too much soda. My bladder feels like it is about to explode."

Bee nodded. "Alright, Sam. Hurry back, 'Jerry Springer: Too Hot for TV' is coming on next."

"Right." Sam waved as he hurried out the door. "I'll be right back."

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Sam made it to the bathroom without incident and was on his way back to the rec room to watch 'Springer' with Bee when a noise caught his attention. Maybe it was the trashy show he had just finished watching, his hormonal teenage mind, or just morbid curiosity, but he suddenly found himself with his ear pressed up against the door leading to the quarters Ironhide and Revecca shared.

As he stood there, he heard it again. It sounded like a labored groan coupled with the distinct hiss of hydraulics. The deep rumbling definitely came from the large mech. Sam's imagination immediately took off in less than innocent directions trying to come up with a reason why Ironhide would be making such strenuous noises in the comfort of his own quarters. Deciding he was about to step into territory he'd rather not enter, he was about to walk away when another, very feminine voice caused him to press his ear back up against the door.

"Oh my god, Ironhide…What is that?"

"What does it look like?" There seemed to be a teasing quality to the mech's voice.

"I know what it looks like." Revecca's voice seemed to hold quite a bit of awe. "I've never seen one so…big before. I mean, my god...It's huge…"

"I know." The mech's voice was definitely smug sounding. "They don't come any bigger."

"What are you going to do with it?"

"Why don't you settle yourself down on the berth and I'll show ya." Ironhide sounded like he was practically purring.

"Oh. My. God." Sam quickly pulled his ear away from the door. The thought that this was probably not something he should be listening to flitted through his mind. He took a couple steps away from the door, fully intending to go back and find Bee. He would have made it too, if Ironhide's next words hadn't reeled him back in. He found his ear plastered back firmly against the door.

"Just lie back and relax. By the time I'm finished, you're not gonna be able to find a reason to ever want to leave this room."

Revecca chuckled. "I like a guy with confidence."

"Oh, really?" Ironhide's voice was a deep rumble.

"Oh, yeah." There was a rustling sound and the sound of things being shuffled around. "Go ahead, big guy. Show me what that thing can do."

Sam pulled back from the door and swallowed hard. He needed a minute to compose himself. His entire body felt hot. He shook his head to try to clear the images his mind was conjuring up. "Walk away, Sam...walk away..."

"Ironhide..." Rev's voice filtered through the door after a long pause. "I hate to say it but, I don't think its going to fit..."

Sam closed his eyes and cursed softly. It was like a train wreck. He didn't want to listen, but he couldn't keep from it. Taking a deep breath, he resumed eavesdropping.

"Its gonna be tight, but it'll fit." Ironhide made a rumbling noise. "If I angle it just right, it should slide right in."

"Well, at least let me help you try to guide it in. If you just try to ram it in there you're gonna break everything."

"Jesus..." Sam's eyes widened. He could hear more shuffling and moving around from behind the door.

Ironhide rumbled. "Can you open 'em any wider?"

"I've got them open as far as they will go."

"Alright." Ironhide's voice sounded a bit strained. "I'm gonna try to push it in. Let me know if I need ta stop. I don't wanna destroy anything."

"Okay." Rev's voice seemed anxious. "Gently, alright..."

"Right." Ironhide agreed quickly. "Ready?"

"Ready." Rev sounded a bit tense.

Sam once again heard the mech groan deeply as his hydraulics hissed.

"Mmmhmm...yeah. That's it...You got it. Push harder, 'Hide. It's almost in...A little bit more...Uh huh...Harder...Keep it coming..."

Sam's head snapped up. His breath was coming in quick gasps. He could not believe what he was hearing. It was truly one of the most disturbing things he had ever overheard...and yet, he couldn't bring himself to walk away. He pressed his ear back to the door, disgusted with himself for wanting to hear more.

"Primus!" Ironhide's intakes were whirring so loudly that they could be heard through the door. "I didn't realize it was gonna be such a tight squeeze."

"Wow...I didn't actually think it would fit. That is amazing." Revecca sounded out of breath herself. "Now what?"

"Gettin' it in here was only the first step." Ironhide lowered his voice seductively. "Now comes the fun part. Once you've experienced this, everything else is gonna seem obsolete."

Sam was so engrossed with listening in to what was happening on the other side of the door that he didn't hear the soft sound of approaching foot steps. It wasn't until Bumblebee reached out to tap him on the shoulder that he realized he wasn't alone.

"Sam?"

Sam had to bite his tongue to keep from shrieking in fright. "B-bee?" He felt like a little kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

Bee cocked his head curiously at the teen. "What are you doing? I was beginning to worry that you were taking so long."

Sam could feel his face turning beet red. W-well...I-I was, uh...I just..."

"Are you alright, Samuel?" Bee took in the boy's disheveled appearance. "You seem a bit flushed. Maybe you should go see Ratchet…"

"I-I'm fine, Bee..." Sam ran a hand down his face. He was sweating. "I was on my way back and...and I-I heard...uh..." Sam motioned toward the door. "And I just...I think they're...umm...I'm gonna go."

Sam turned and walked briskly away from his guardian. He needed to go find something wholesome to watch on television to try to void out the perverse images now floating around in his head. He thought 'Mister Rogers' Neighborhood' might be on. Yeah...Good ole Mr. Rogers and his Land of Make-believe.

"I wonder what has him so worked up?" Bee tilted his head at the door. He stood very still, straining his audio sensors for anything out of the ordinary. Sam's behavior had caused him concern that something might be wrong. Determined to ensure his friends were alright, the yellow mech knocked on the door.

Ironhide's voice called out from the other side. "Who is it?"

"Bumblebee."

After a moment, Ironhide answered. "C'mon in, Bee."

Bee pushed open the door to find Ironhide sprawled out on his berth looking quite comfortable with his arms folded over his chest plates. One leg was stretched out in front of him while the other dangled over the side of the berth, barely touching the floor. His optics were dimmed and half shuttered in contentment as Revecca sat perched next to his head drawing small circles over his left optic with her fingers. Both were focused quite intently at something on the opposite wall.

The human femme flashed the yellow mech a smile as he approached. "Hey, Bee. What's going on?"

"Nothing much." Bee paused at the side of the berth. "I just wanted to make sure you guys were alright."

Ironhide shot him a sideways glance. "Why wouldn't we be?"

"Oh, well..." Bee cleared his vocal processor. "Sam was a bit perplexed. He thought he heard some kind of commotion in here."

Revecca laughed. "I'm not surprised." The woman pointed at the wall where Ironhide's attention was still focused. "Check it out."

Bee turned to see the most enormous plasma television he had ever laid optics on playing 'Jerry Springer: Too Hot for TV'. The thing made even the giant television in the rec room seem small in comparison. "Wow..."

The woman nodded. "That's what I said." She inclined her head toward the other side of the room toward a set of huge double doors that led to the area where Ironhide kept his various weapons and other odds and ends he worked on. "I didn't think he was ever gonna get it through the doors."

Ironhide smirked playfully at his female companion. "I told ya it would fit."

End

**Mwhahaha! I have no clue where this came from. I thought it was kinda funny. I was gonna delete it, but figured I would share it instead. I have a few more of these floating around on my hard drive. If anyone is interested in reading them I may post them...if I can weed out the good ones. PEACE!**

**Voodoo**


	3. Nightmare

**Author's Note: Hey again! I hope everyone is doing well this fine day. I am going completely stir crazy as I sit here cleaning out computer files. This is a little something I slapped together late one night when I couldn't sleep, if I remember correctly. I haven't done any editing...I just ran it through a spell checker really quick. Hope you likey. Later. **

**Disclaimer: Are you crazy or something? Of course I don't own them! Where would you get an idea like that?**

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**Nightmare**

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The base was eerily silent except for the sound of straining intakes and the rattling of shivering steel. The only light in the darkened room came from the small crack at the bottom of the door. It was hardly enough to illuminate the young mech who sat on his berth with his legs pulled up against his chest plate. His wide, blue optics looked around fearfully, half expecting a Deception to slither out from under the berth and pull him under.

"It was just a dream…it was just a dream…it was just a dream…" The mech repeated the words over and over like a mantra in an attempt to comfort himself. The fact that he knew he was safe and sound inside the Autobot base and not in the clutches of the Decepticons did little to reassure him. It had seemed so very real.

Bluestreak hadn't experienced the memory echoes as often since he arrived on Earth. For that he was thankful. Just being on the tiny, blue planet with its bright sunshine, seemingly endless skies and menagerie of life forms had done wonders for him. He felt more at ease, more hopeful that maybe, just maybe, they would all be alright.

Still sometimes, in the dead of night, his memory banks would dredge up things best forgotten. Bluestreak had learned humans also had a name for this frightening phenomenon. They called it dreaming. Or in this case…having nightmares. He believed the human term 'nightmare', as dark and sinister as it sounded, did a much better job of describing what the experience felt like.

The only thing Bluestreak could think of that was as horrible as having a nightmare was waking up alone after one with no one to reassure you it was only a dream. It was always a relief to see a familiar, friendly face afterward. Unfortunately, at this moment in time, there was no one he could really go to for consolation.

Prime, Prowl, and Jazz had gone to meet with the human government to discuss issues of national security and would not be back for a week. Ratchet and Wheeljack had been dispatched to check on a meteor landing site just in case it turned out to be an arriving Cybertronian, which seemed very unlikely. Bumblebee, the dedicated guardian he was, dutifully stood watch at the Witwicky household. This left Blue basically on his own, except for one other mech. He had been assigned to hang back at the base with Ironhide and 'hold down the fort' so to speak.

Although Blue would never tell the intimidating mech to his face, the gunner had always looked at Ironhide as something of a father-figure...or at the very least a crazy uncle. Ironhide could be rough, foul mouthed, and ill tempered at times, but knowing the lumbering, cannon-toting mech was around always made him feel a bit more secure. Blue knew that whether or not the weapon specialist would admit it or not, he did care deeply about each and every one of them and showed it in his own subtle ways.

Still, the young mech was hesitant to approach the weapon specialist for comfort. Ironhide, he believed, would no doubt find it ridiculous that he should be afraid to go back to recharge after something as simple as a scary dream. It seemed Ironhide, afterall, wasn't afraid of much of anything…least of all bad dreams.

Whimpering, Bluestreak pulled his legs tighter to his chest and clutched at the surface of his berth. What was wrong with him?! He wasn't a sparkling anymore; he was a full grown mech. He shouldn't be acting like this. He chastised himself but couldn't shake the images the memory echo had stirred up. Going back to recharge, apparently, wasn't going to be an option.

The sudden rumble of the environmental control system coming to life caused the young mech to jump and squeak in fright. The noise it made was much too similar to the growl the Decepticon in his nightmare had made. The gunner leapt off his berth and bounded over to his door. He didn't care if Ironhide did scold him for acting like a frightened sparkling. He couldn't stay in here alone.

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Bluestreak crept down the darkened corridors toward the other mech's quarters. Every creak, every groan of the building settling around him caused him to cringe. Even the sound of his own footsteps echoing in the silence of the deserted base set him on edge. He could see now how truly ominous the place could be without the friendly laughter and idle chit chat of his comrades. It was one of the reasons he talked so much himself. Silence could be terrifying.

Blue had never felt so relieved as he did standing outside the weapon specialist's door. Reassurance was merely a knock away. Blue lifted his hand to tap on the door and paused.

Suddenly having second thoughts, Bluestreak hesitated. Did he really want to invoke Ironhide's wrath by waking him up out of recharge? Looking around the darkened hallway, the shadows seemed to reach threateningly out toward him with cruel, inky, black fingers. Bluestreak quickly made up his mind and knocked.

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"Mmmphh..." The groggy woman half sat up as her sleep was interrupted by a frantic pounding on the door and cut a sleepy glance over to the enormous mass of the Autobot sprawled out beside her. She nudged him gently. "Hey...Ironhide?"

No response.

"'Hide?" She pushed at him harder with both hands. The mech didn't even budge. One thing she had learned since she began sharing quarters with Ironhide was that trying to rouse him out of recharge was like trying to wake the dead. She grabbed her pillow and aimed for his face. "IRONHIDE!"

"Huh?" Optics unshuttered and briefly came on line as pillow made impact with his forehead. The mech sat bolt upright, cannons humming and weapon systems coming on line. "Wha-?"

Revecca flopped back onto her stomach, not even giving his ready arsenal a second look. "Someone's at the door."

"Is that all?" Ironhide rumbled powered down his weapons. He lay back down on the berth, his optics flickering as they threatened to go back offline. "Go answer it..."

The woman turned her head to look up at the nearly recharging mech as the knocking sounded again. "I would if I could get down from here without shattering every bone in my body." Rev poked at him, jamming her fingers into the sensitive joint of his elbow to get his attention. "'Hide?"

"Alright, alright..." Ironhide groaned as he hauled himself up off the berth. He grumbled all the way to the door. "Mech can't even getta decent recharge...'Con's better be havin' a tea party in Prime's office or somethin'..." Ironhide reached the door and opened it with more than a little irritation and was surprised to see a very wide-eyed gunner staring back at him. "Blue?"

The gray bot fidgeted nervously under Ironhide's scrutinizing gaze. "Umm...I'm sorry to bother you, Ironhide. I really am. I know you were probably recharging but, but...I had a really, really terrible nightmare and I didn't want to be alone in my room. Before you even start, I know what you're thinking. I know it's really stupid to be scared of something like that. I mean I know it's only a dream and it shouldn't bother me that much but it just seemed so...real. I didn't really want to disturb you 'cause I know you're probably really tired and Revecca is probably sleeping and its really late...I just...I couldn't go back to recharge after that. I got scared sitting in my room all by myself in the dark and you're the only other mech here..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." Ironhide shook his head and made a motion with his hands to cut the smaller bot off. "You mean to tell me, you ran halfway across the base to wake me up because you had a bad dream and were scared ta be alone?"

The now silent Bluestreak merely looked down at his feet and nodded his head. He knew the much older mech was probably thinking him to be a whiny sparkling. "I'm sorry to bother you..."

"Primus, Blue. Its 2 o'clock in the mornin'..." Ironhide ran a hand down his face and looked back to the obviously shaken younger mech.

"I know…" Bluestreak found himself wishing he had just toughed it out in his room till the sun came up and made everything better. "I'm sorry."

'Hide rolled his shoulders and did a wonderful impression of a human sigh. It was no secret Bluestreak had been through some very difficult things before joining with the Autobots; The very least of which his being the only survivor when the city he lived in was ransacked by Decepticon forces. Being a firsthand witness to the savagery of the Decepticons would be enough to give anyone frightening dreams for the rest of their life. "That bad, huh?"

Bluestreak couldn't bring himself to look the other mech in the optics. He could barely bring himself to nod in the affirmative. He felt so foolish. He was a bit surprised Ironhide hadn't dismissed him yet with a sharp word and a shove down the hall.

"Alright, Blue…" Ironhide stepped back from the door. "C'mon in."

Blue's head snapped up. "Huh?"

"Unless you'd rather stay out here in the hall the rest of the night?" Ironhide quirked an optic ridge at the smaller bot.

"N-no…" Bluestreak shook his head and stepped carefully into the darkened room.

Ironhide put a hand on the mech's shoulder and guided him across the room. He quickly made up a place for Blue to recharge and motioned for the bot to sit. "You can stay here the rest of the night. Just be quiet, alright? Rev's sleepin'."

Blue nodded his head vigorously. "Yes, Sir…I really appreciate..."

"Blue…" Ironhide cut the bot off. "Shut it and get some recharge."

"S-sorry…" Blue lay back on his makeshift recharge berth. He watched the large mech as he turned to walk away. "Ironhide?"

The mech stopped and sighed tiredly, turning slightly to look at the gunner. "Yes, Blue?"

Blue's optics blinked in the darkness. "Thank you."

A slight smile pulled at Ironhide's mouth. "Anytime, kid...anytime."

The End.

**Aww...See, Ironhide can be kinda fatherly when he wants to be... Anyhow, if ya'll wanna see more of this crap I'd be glad to post it. I've still got a couple tucked away somewhere...Time to take my medicine! Aufwiedersehen! **

**Voodoo**


	4. Target Practice

**Author's Note: Yet another little tidbit I pulled off my hard drive for you guys that was spawned from 'Thief'. This one showcases Ironhide's err…unique teaching abilities. I'm gonna slap an M rating on this one. You have been warned. Hope ya dig it. Catch ya at the bottom!**

**Disclaimer: No -cries- **

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**Target Practice**

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"Are ya serious?" Ironhide glanced sideways at the young woman who sat cross legged on the workbench where he was putting together a rather wicked looking piece of weaponry.

Rev nodded as she watched the mech deftly assemble the contraption. "Seriously. I have never even touched a gun before. To be honest, they scare the crap out of me."

Ironhide looked down at her with a lopsided grin. "They aren't nothin' to be scared of if ya know what you're doin'."

Revecca lifted an eyebrow in amusement. "Says the guy sporting gigantic arm mounted cannons."

'Hide chuckled. "Hey, why don't ya let me teach ya how to use one?"

"Uhh..." Revecca shook her head. "I don't think so..."

"Aww, c'mon." Ironhide put down the piece of equipment he was working on. "It'll be fun."

"Fun?" Revecca nearly burst out laughing. "I've seen the way you teach, 'Hide. There is nothing 'fun' about it."

Ironhide straightened. "I'll have you know that I've been teachin' Mikaela how to shoot for a couple weeks now and she's done very well under my instruction."

Rev looked at him unconvinced. "Well, Sam didn't fare so well..."

Waving off her concern, the mech responded, "The boy is too nervous."

Revecca rolled her eyes. "I can't begin to imagine why..."

Ironhide let out a snort and reached out toward her. "Come on..." He nudged her gently with one finger. "You should at least let me teach ya how to handle a handgun. Mikaela is coming out tomorrow for a lesson. You should join us. It would make me feel better knowin' you could at least defend yourself if something happened and I couldn't be there." He lightly touched her face. "Please? I'll promise I'll make it fun."

XXXXXXXXXX

"There are four main rules for firearm safety," Ironhide paced slowly in front of his two pupils. "Rule number one: Always assume the weapon you are handlin' is loaded and treat it as such. Rule number two: Never ever point your weapon at anything ya aren't willin' to kill or destroy. Rule number three: Your finger is to remain off the trigger at all times until you are ready to fire. Rule number four: Be absolutely sure of your target and what's behind it." The mech stopped pacing and looked at the two women. "Any questions?"

Mikaela and Revecca shook their heads and answered in unison. "No, Sir."

"Good." 'Hide brought his weapon systems online with a smirk. "Let's begin."

XXXXXXXXXX

"Very good, Mikaela." Ironhide studied her target, comparing to the one from her lesson the previous week. "You show marked improvement from the last time we practiced. Keep this up and we might just have to send ya out in the field the next time the Decepticons show their ugly afts."

Mikaela grinned proudly. "Thanks. The tips you gave me really made a difference." The girl quickly glanced at her watch. "Damn it. I'm gonna be late. I'm supposed to be meeting Sam for a movie. I've gotta run" The teen quickly gathered up her belongings. She waved as she hurried away. "See ya next week, 'Hide! Thanks for the lesson! Bye, Rev!"

"Well," Revecca pushed off the wall she was leaning against and started toward the exit. "That was interesting."

Ironhide cleared his vocal processor. "Where do you think you're goin'? I don't recall dismissin' you."

Revecca turned back toward the mech wide eyed. "I thought we were done."

"Oh, no." Ironhide shook his head and crossed his arms. "Your shooting left much to be desired. You aren't goin' anywhere until I'm satisfied." His optics dimmed slightly and his holoform 'poofed' into existence. The tall, muscular, dark-haired man beckoned her. "Get your aft back over here."

Knowing better than to argue, Revecca hesitantly made her way over to stand in front of him. "I told you I wouldn't be very good at this."

"You'll learn. I'm gonna teach you." Holo-Hide picked up the discarded 9mm and handed it to her. "Load your weapon and assume your firing position."

"Yes, Sir." Rev rolled her eyes but did as she was told. She snapped the magazine in place as she had been instructed and took aim down range. "Alright."

A disgruntled sigh escaped the man hovering next to her. He shook his head in discontent. "That's exactly why ya can't hit anything to save your life. Your entire stance is terrible." He moved behind her kicked her feet further apart with one of his. "Your feet should be a shoulder width apart for starters..."

"Oh..." Revecca looked down at her feet causing her to drop her arms slightly and the weapon to stray from the direction of its target.

"Pay attention to what you're doin'!"

"What?!" Rev's head jerked back up when Ironhide reached his arms around her to grasp hers, pulling them back up into the correct position.

"Keep you're elbows straight and your weapon pointed down range at your target!"

"Sorry..." Rev looked back over her shoulder and smiled a bit nervously. "You kind of distracted me there for a second..."

Ironhide did not look amused...at all. "Distractions happen. You have to learn to ignore 'em. It can mean the difference between life 'n' death in some situations. Do you understand?"

The woman winced a bit at his harsh tone and nodded slowly. "Sorry, 'Hide…it won't happen again."

"Make sure it doesn't." He inclined his head toward the weapon in her hands. "Line up your target."

Revecca took a deep breath as she lined up the sights on the gun and did her best to aim for the center mass of the target as Ironhide had previously instructed her. She was feeling fairly confident about taking the shot when the feel of two very warm hands brushing tantalizingly up her sides caused her to hesitate. She turned her head to look at the man behind her. "Ironhide, what are you-"

"Eyes on the target!"

The authority in his voice compelled her to comply. "O-okay..."

"Good." Ironhide smirked wickedly as his hands found their way beneath her shirt to skim over her ribcage before roaming higher to cup her breasts. "Now, I want you to take a deep breath, exhale, and squeeze the trigger. Don't jerk it or your gonna throw off your aim." He kneaded her breasts gently as he gave his directions.

Revecca's hands had begun to shake as she held the 9mm in a deathgrip. "I-I can't...not with you touching me..."

"Mmm..." Ironhide purred as he pressed his body against her back and lowered his mouth to her neck to nip at the exposed skin. "What did I tell you about distractions?" Despite what his hands and mouth were doing, the tone of his voice was all business.

"Ig-ignore them?" Rev gasped when she felt his hot breath in her ear.

"Very good." 'Hide skillfully released the front clasp of her bra, freeing her breasts. He covered them completely with his large hands and brushed his palms against the sensitive peaks causing her to shiver. "Now, take aim and fire your weapon."

Revecca took a shuddering breath as she tried to block out the sensations Ironhide was creating in her body. Heat pooled in her belly as Ironhide's hands and mouth kept up their assault on her senses, daring her to break her concentration. Exhaling slowly, she began to apply pressure to the trigger. The sound of the round being fired echoed up and down the range.

"Did I hit it?" Revecca's mind was so preoccupied with the sensations running rampant through her body that she couldn't focus enough to see if she had hit her mark.

Ironhide lifted his head from the crook of Revecca's neck. Sneaking one hand out from under her shirt, he groped for the button that would retrieve the target for him to examine. Surprisingly enough, Rev's shot had been almost dead on. A tad bit off center perhaps, but none-the-less lethal.

Looking over the target dummy without ever breaking contact with his pupil, the 'man' nodded in approval. "Impressive. Very good, Rev." Ironhide nuzzled her hair. "It appears I'm gonna have to up the difficulty level."

Revecca shuddered in his arms. "Wha-what is that supposed to mean?"

"Bring your weapon to the ready." Ironhide slid one of his hands down her abdomen and slipped it down inside the front of her jeans.

"Oh, God…" Revecca's eyes almost rolled back in her head.

"C'mon, Rev. You gotta pay attention. Keep your eyes on the target." Ironhide grinned mischievously as his pupil moaned in response. "Didn't I tell ya this was gonna be fun?"

End

**Hmm…I wonder how much he charges for a lesson?? I could use some instruction…Err…OH! Heh heh, sorry. I don't usually write smutty stuff. Actually, I try to avoid it like the plague but this just begged to be done. Anyways…if ya liked this one let me know and I'll see what else I can dig up. I think I have some stuff tucked away in a folder on my desktop. Happy trails!**

**VoodooQueen **


	5. Revenge

**Author's Note: Just another unrelated little tidbit that spawned from my other two stories. This one is actually going to be a two-shot and is sort of a sequel to the first one called 'Jealousy'. I couldn't resist. Hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Still nope.**

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**Revenge**

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"You're still mad at me, huh?" A frown pulled at Ironhide's faceplates as he looked down at the disgruntled human femme who seemed not to even notice he was there. "I can't stand when ya ignore me, Rev. I know I might've overreacted just a little..."

An astonished gasp escaped the woman's throat and she looked up at the bot for the first time in days. "Just a little?" Revecca pressed her palms to her temples. "Ironhide! You blew up a 35 thousand dollar car because you were jealous! I mean...come on! Overreacted? Are you serious?!"

The mech rolled his shoulders uncomfortably and kneeled down to her level. "I said I was sorry..."

"He's sorry..." Revecca laughed humorlessly and stood to face the mech. "Sorry doesn't pay for my skyrocketing insurance premiums, of which you have absolutely no concept. Do you have any idea how difficult that was to explain? I had to convince the insurance agent that a brand new car spontaneously combusted…"

Ironhide grumbled and looked down at his feet. "I don't understand why you're treatin' this as such a big deal. It was just a car…"

"Just a car?!" Revecca threw her arms up in the air in exasperation. "You just don't get it, do you?"

The mech looked at the woman questioningly. "Get what?"

"Oh. My. God." Revecca scrubbed her hands down her face. "You're a grown man…mech…whatever. I shouldn't have to explain any of this to you…"

Ironhide hung his head. "Rev..."

"Don't you 'Rev' me, Ironhide." Revecca folded her arms across her chest and shook her head. "After everything we've been through together, I can't believe you would be so insecure that you would blow up my car..."

Ironhide put on his most innocent expression...well, innocent for him. "I didn't mean to..."

"Oh, please! Don't even go there! You most certainly did mean to!" Revecca heard her voice rising and stopped speaking to take a deep breath. She lowered her head and blew the air out slowly through her nose before looking back up at the mech. "I just cannot believe you. You really are a piece of work, you know that?"

Ironhide frowned. He hated arguing with the woman. He'd almost rather face down the entire Decepticon Army than argue with Revecca. She just had something about her when she got angry with him that made him feel very, very small. "I really am sorry, Rev. I don't know what else ta say. If I could take it back I would…"

Rev sighed and held up her hand to cut the mech off. "Save it Ironhide."

"Revecca?" Ironhide looked at her, almost pleading.

"I really don't want to hear it." Rev knew Ironhide wasn't really sorry for destroying her car. He had hated that car with a passion. He was only sorry that she was mad at him about it. If only there was some way she could get him to see how absolutely ridiculous the entire situation was and maybe deter him from repeating similar actions in the future. Sure, she loved the mech dearly but occasionally he took things to the extreme. The sad demise of the Audi was but one example.

Ironhide reached out toward the femme. After days of having her pretend he didn't even exist, he was becoming desperate to make up. "At least let me try to make it up to ya."

"Ironhide..." Revecca started to roll her eyes when the glint of the overhead lights reflecting off of the mech's cannons caught her eye and distracted her from what she was going to say. A small smile formed on her lips. Perhaps there was a way to teach him a lesson.

"Listen, 'Hide..." Rev planted her hands on her hips and looked the mech in the optics. "There's nothing that can be done about it now. It's over and done with. I'm tired of arguing with you. Let's just forget it, alright?"

"Really?" Ironhide's mood lightened considerably at her words.

Rev nodded. "Yeah."

Ironhide grinned and carefully wrapped his hand around the woman to bring her to his chest. "You'll see, I'll make the whole thing up to ya."

A smirk, unnoticed by the mech, played on the woman's lips. "Yes, you will."

XXXXXXXXXX

**A few days later...**

"Thanks for the ride to the store, Jazz." Revecca shifted the bag she carried to her other hip. "I would've driven myself but…you know."

"Anytime..." Jazz chuckled. "'Hide seems to be in a better mood lately. I take it you've forgiven 'im for the whole car thing?"

Rev grinned slyly and patted the bag she held with her free hand. "Forgiven but not forgotten."

Jazz cocked an optic ridge. "What exactly did ya buy?"

"Supplies..." Revecca crooked her finger in a 'come hither' gesture at the mech and held the bag open so that he could survey the contents while she explained exactly what she intended to do.

"I love it." A mischievous grin split the silver mech's faceplates once he was finished examining Revecca's purchases. "You are an evil, pit-spawned femme, ya know that? I almost feel sorry for 'Hide."

"Don't. He brought this all on himself." Rev looked thoughtful for a moment. "Hey, if you aren't busy later, I could use a hand."

Jazz studied the woman for a moment and grinned. "I'm listenin'."

XXXXXXXXXX

**That Night****...**

Revecca lay awake next to the massive bulk of the mech sprawled out next to her. She quietly turned on her side to look at him. A soft smile played on her lips. He looked so peaceful when he was in recharge, almost innocent.

_'Innocent? Yeah, right.'_ Rev's smile turned into a frown. '_Tell that to the poor little sports coupe that met its death at the hands of your possessive, cannon-toting boyfriend. I may have forgiven him but he isn't getting off the hook that easy.'_

Revecca carefully sat up and dug around under her pillow for the items she had hidden there earlier in the evening before turning her attention back to the mech. She carefully approached the arm-mounted weapon closest to her. She kept one eye on the slumbering giant for any sign of movement. Once certain that he wasn't going to sit bolt upright and blow her head off, she went to work.

Revecca was suddenly thankful for her inquisitive nature. Countless hours of sitting and annoying the mech by pointing at various parts and pieces and asking "What's that?" using her best impression of a five-year old (not to mention her own 'special' experiments with Cybertronian anatomy) had paid off. She was able to avoid the sensitive tactile sensors that would have alerted the mech to a problem and quickly gain access to the internal workings of Ironhide's cannons.

The sound of the code for the door being entered from the outside caused Revecca to grin as she began her project. Jazz was right on time. It was gonna be a long night but it was so gonna be worth it. Ironhide was about to learn a very important lesson: Hell hath no fury like a woman who has had her car blown up by a jealous, overprotective, alien robot from outer space.

To be continued…

**Hmmm…I wonder what Rev is doing exactly??? Ask yourself this question: What is Ironhide's biggest nightmare? You'll find out in the next part…which I hope to have posted in a day or two. Till then, my little chickadees!**

**VQ**


End file.
